Something Else
by AllytheVamp
Summary: Cordy has an exhausting night and figures out what she wants.


Something Else  
By AllytheVamp  
  
  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Angel. You all know that.  
  
Setting: A few months after 'For Me?'  
  
Authors Notes: I only got one request for a sequel and I didn't really know if that person was serious, but I followed through on it anyway, so here it is. I was dying to write for this couple and I've been so caught up in 'Staying Here' that I haven't had time. I hope you enjoy it. This is a bit of a taste until I update my two sites again.  
  
  
  
  
I'd said the line so many times the words had lost all meaning. I don't know how Randy had even BEGUN to fall for Samantha. She was such a twit. She always contradicted herself, she acted like nobody could possibly understand her then she raved about how Randy was the only one she could count on when all she did was treat him like crap. And now in this scene she was asking him to take her back after knocking him out with a hammer cause she didn't recognize him and thought he was a mugger. She'd nearly given him brain damage!  
  
Who wrote this crap?  
  
David (the moron they got to play Randy) paced across the set, repeatedly pulling back his wavy black hair. He looked so tortured that I had a hard time believing this wasn't reality. Regardless of his personality off-screen, on screen he was on fire. It really killed me that such an immense egotistical jerk could be such an incredible actor.   
  
"Why are you doing this to me?" He suddenly shouted, his anguished voice echoing across the set.  
  
"Why won't you listen to what I'm saying?" I wailed. Samantha was supposed to be crying and though it was tiring, I still had tears on my face. "I keep trying to explain this to you... Don't you know how much I need you? You don't understand anything!"   
  
With that I let out a fake sob that I hoped sounded genuine and then ran towards the door. Then, like we'd done about eight times already, Randy bounded over to me and swept me into a kiss.  
The director (Jeff) had made us do that kiss about 20 times. My lips were swollen, David had awful breath and he tried for the eighth time to stick his tongue in my mouth. It was awful kissing him. He always made like he enjoyed it and assumed I did too, but I hated kissing that guy. When he held me it felt so COLD! How was I supposed to act all in love if his touch left me cold?   
  
Finally, Jeff yelled cut and told us that we could finally leave for the day. I pushed David off me roughly and stomped off to my dressing room, hearing him come after me.  
  
"David, give it a rest." I groaned as David leaned in front-of me, blocking my doorway. "Why don't you just go take a cold shower and get a life? The day I will go out with you will be the day pigs grow wings and start flying!"  
  
"Cordy, you know, I don't appreciate your sarcastic attitude. You could really hurt a guys self-esteem." He gave me a wounded look, pretending to pout.  
  
"I don't think anything in this world could damage your precious ego." I seethed. I grabbed his arm and flung him out of my way. I had my hand on the doorknob, when David grabbed my arm.  
  
"Let go you perve!" I shrieked, startled.   
  
"Calm down will you? I just thought you should know that the boss wants to see you." He smiled, his professionally constructed teeth glistening in the light. "Said it was important."  
  
His mocking tone made me lightheaded with fury. Oh, how I wanted to flatten this jerk! As calmly as I could, I stalked away from him, walking so fast, the walls seemed to blur.   
  
I paused at the door to Tony's office and started to get nervous again. I was alway nervous when I faced him, even though he was pretty un-intimidating to look at. He was still the biggest thing in Hollywood, short and stubby as he was. He had this way of staring right through you as though you didn't really exsist and you were just a figment of his imagination. I hated the way those shining green eyes were always so focused. It was unsettling.  
  
I took a deep breath and walked in, making my face smile. Tony was watering a cactus(only he would do something like that). He looked up and raised a hand in greeting. He didn't smile which made mine falter a bit.  
  
"Hey Tony," I said cheerfully managing to sit without falling over. "How's your life going?"  
  
How's your LIFE going? Oh man, it was illegal to be this nervous.   
  
"Sit down." He said shortly.  
  
I just gave him a look and raised my eyebrows. His face broke into frusteration when he saw that I was already seated and he sighed dramatically.  
  
"Now Miss Chase, I have watched the tapes of your show and I am pleased to tell you that I am quite satisfied with your work." Tony now sat across from me, the leather of his chair squeaking slightly as he did.  
  
I nodded biting my lip.  
  
"However, I have been getting complaints." He cast me a stern look.  
  
I blanched. "Complaints?"  
  
"David Hemmings has been reporting that you have been less than polite with him. He also mentions that you repeatedly try to follow him to his dressing room, while hurling profanities at him. Even when filming he claims that you conntinually put him down and threaten to inflict physical harm. I am very surprised to hear such a thing. I find you to be a very pleasant woman indeed, but I just called you here to warn you that if this continues, I will be forced to find a replacement." Tony continued to give me a serious look. "I hope we have an understanding? David is a fine man and does not deserve such treatment. If you have a problem with him, please take it up with me before doing anything rash."  
  
I felt like I'd been punched in the gut and I saw red. I may have ripped the armrests off the chair if he hadn't stood up to shake my hand and usher me out. I walked stiffly down the hall, never hating David more then that moment. He was there to meet me in my room and I glared at him, feeling my hands make two tight fists.  
  
"You..." I growled.  
  
"Hey, you diss me, you pay. I told you what I wanted. My friends expect me to date you. I always date my female lead. That's just the way it goes." He sat back looking smug and proud.  
  
"So THAT'S what this is about? You tried to wreck my career to get a DATE with me?!!" I sputtered. "Why do you think I'd go out with you now?? After the things you told him??"  
  
"Because I own you," He said flatly, his voice taking on a dangerous edge. "You don't date me, you don't work in this town. I can tell Tony anything about you and he'll believe it. I'm his most valuble man. He can't lose me. You'll get fired and when Tony fires you, you'd better believe no one will hire you! If would be easier for everyone if you would just say yes."  
  
I couldn't answer. I blindly pointed towards the door, my hand shaking with rage. "Get out."  
  
David raised his hand and laughed. "Alright Cor, but you know it's true. I've been doing this for way longer than you have and I can easily throw you out. You gotta learn the rules." He reached over and traced a finger over my cheek. "You get me baby?"  
  
I reeled back and plunged my fist into his jaw. I heard a crack and smiled in satisfaction despite my sudden fear. I never even imagined what things people could do in this business. David was not only a jerk, but a blackmailer, sexual harasser! I wasn't going to take it sitting down.  
  
Suddenly he came back and smacked me hard. My head snapped back and I slammed into my dressing table, knocking over various bottles and cracking the mirror. I fell on the floor and gasped in a breath feeling a sharp pain throbbing in my side. I looked up in shock.  
  
David glared down at me, his face full of complete hatred.   
  
"You'd better never do that again. I let you off easy this time."  
  
He walked out of my room and I staggered up, clutching my side and trying to remember to breathe. I somehow managed to change and walk out to my car looking completely at ease.   
  
I sat down in my car and burst into tears.  
  
  
***  
  
The call from Doyle came at about midnight. I had eaten about five gallons of choclate-chip Ben & Jerry's and I was wired, so when the phone rang I snatched it up.  
  
"Hello?" I said, sounding brighter than I felt.  
  
"Cordy?" A weak voice asked weakly. "I hoped you were up."  
  
"Doyle?" The pain in his voice and his labored breathing shocked me. "What's wrong? What happened?"  
  
"Angel and I were rescuing some couple and this...(he struggled to regain his voice) this demon- a real ugly thing- it came out of nowhere. It knocked me out and when I came to, Angel was pretty beat up," he coughed. "It was trying to get something...I don't know what it was...but I need your help. Just get over here."  
  
"Doyle-stay put ok?" I said picking up my keys. "I'll be right over."  
  
I hung up without waiting for an answer and raced out, not bothering to tell Dennis where I was going.  
  
When I arrived at the office, I rushed in and stopped dead when Doyle hobbled around the corner. He looked awful. There was a huge gash on his forehead, stomach and bruises covered his body. I could see them in the rips on his clothes. I gasped, afraid to touch him.  
  
"Yeah," He murmured smiling sadly. "You think this is bad, you don't want to see what Angel looked like."   
  
"He left?" I was still staring at the broken body of my friend. I had never seen him banged up this badly. I couldn't believe Angel would leave him like this. And he, from what Doyle implied, was even worse then that! He was a testosterone freak.  
  
"Well, I was in no condition to stop him." Doyle gestured weakly to his bood-soaked clothes. "And you know how he gets. He said that the demon is going to keep looking for him anywhere and killing anyone who gets in the way. So he went off, even though he was bleedin' worse then me. Told me to call you."  
  
"That idiot!" I muttered. I raced over as Doyle tripped and fell with a groan. I helped him up and ushered him to the chair. As I raced to find the first aid kit, I wondered if I really should have been worried about my situation when my friends were out there saving lives and nearly getting killed. Angel would never have left Doyle in this condition unless it was really serious.  
  
All the way home and while I shoveled the icecream in, I kept trying to blame this on Doyle. He was the one who talked to Tony for me about working in the soap. I wanted to think that he had purposely done it somehow, but then logic stepped in and I realized that there was no way Doyle would ever intentionally hurt me. Besides, how would he know if Tony was going to hire such an egomaniac lunitic to star opposite me? I was having a great time up until today. I could deal with a jerk. Just now it had gone much too far and Tony was being as naive as I had been.   
I had somehow told myself that once I was a star everything would become easier. I'd instantly get rich, get respect like I used to, get back to the lifestyle I was used to...I also thought that everyone on the soap would be really sweet and we'd all be a team or something. Everyone had been civil but now that I thought about it, everyone seemed to resent me. I shook my head and fresh tears came into my eyes.   
  
I was going to have to quit. The very thing I had always wanted made me sick.  
  
I walked back into the room and Doyle winced when I dabbed his head with a swab.   
  
"I don't think you know how much that hurts." He muttered.  
  
"Yeah well, I know how much better it's going to feel when it's clean." I started to wrap his arm, astounded at how blood didn't effect me anymore.  
  
"I don't think I've ever ached this bad." he complained. "Can you give me something to knock me out?"  
  
"You want me to hit you in the head?" I glared at him pointedly. "Cause there's no way you're getting drunk."  
  
Doyle tried to glare back at me, but it turned into a cough. I winced and told him to lean forward so I could wrap his stomach up.He lay his head on my shoulder and I felt his eyes close. I smiled as I wrapped. When I was done, I started on his bruises. I had to get some ice and he kept complaining but I had to ignore him. He was such a wimp when he was hurt.  
  
"Cordelia, just gimme some rum! Please anything! I'm dying here!" Doyle groaned.  
  
"Stop being a wuss. You're the one who probably rushed up to the demon and got himself near filleted!" I replied.  
  
"Hey, he came up behind me!" He protested. "I was just trying to open the car door!"  
  
"So, you and Angel nearly got yourselves killed just getting away from it?" I asked incredulously. "How in the world is Angel supposed to kill it anyway?"  
  
Doyle shook his head. "If I could read minds, then would I be working here?"  
  
"Yes." I answered with a smirk.  
  
He thought this over and shrugged. "Yeah fine. Guess I would then."  
  
It took about half and hour of moans and complaints to get him all patched up. He was still sitting in the chair and still looking like a mummy or something, when the phone rang. I snatched it up, just as Doyle put his hand on the armrest to get up.  
  
"Cordy?" Angel's tired voice whispered. "How's Doyle?"  
  
"He looks like a mummy but he's ok, no thanks to you," I snapped. "Where are you anyway? He could have bled to death!"  
  
"That's why I told him to call you! You know if it wasn't important I wouldn't have left! Just listen-" He tried.  
  
"No, you listen! I had had the worst day ever, getting threatened and talked down to and hit in the face and now you're saying that killing some demon is more important then your friend who looked like a human punching bag!" I shouted, feeling frusterated tears in my eyes. "I am so sick of you men! You think that feeling all manly and righteous is more important then the people that matter! I can't just come and clean up your mess everytime! Why is everyone trying to walk on me?"  
  
"CORDELIA!" Angel snarled.  
  
I stopped talking, feeling all the blood drain from my face. Angel had never ever taken such an angry tone with me. I had never heard his voice so full of desperate guilt and fear.   
  
"Angel what do you need?" I asked quietly.  
  
Angel heaved a sigh and was brisk and tense as he told me about the ritual of Lodera. He needed it done to weaken the demon and it had to be done ASAP. I took down some notes and told him to sit tight. When I hung up, Doyle was standing watching me with a curious expression on his face.  
  
"Princess after we do this, we're going to talk." He looked at me; the kind of look that makes you stop and wonder if this is the person you've known all this time. Such resolve had never taken residence on his face. I hesitated but before I could think of anything to get out of talking to him, he'd swept up a dusty magic book and was flipping through.   
  
"So what're we looking for?" He asked.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Settting up the ritual took only a few minutes, some herbs and a few candles. I swear, Doyle and I were insync. He was chanting, I was throwing in herbs and then the spell seemed to take control of us. We lit the candles, both chanting in perfect unison. The room went dark so only the eerie glow of the candles was there.   
  
Then Doyle's blue eyes snapped shut and he fell on the floor with a thud, clutching his head. At the same moment, pain I'd never imagined hit me and I fell beside him, screaming in terror as images flashed in my head.  
  
Angel was fighting the demon. It was the biggest thing I'd ever seen. His injuries screamed out to me and the guilt he felt for the lives this thing had threatened (or taken) was overpowering. Unconsciously I was crying suddenly. The darkness in Angel's soul that screamed at him and fought against the light made me sob.   
  
Then I saw Doyle getting hit in the back by the thing. I felt his panic and the failure he felt since he wasn't prepared. I saw his whole day flash before my eyes and I cried silently as his insecurities flooded me. Images of Harriet, his mother, Ireland and him getting drunk made me scream and all the things he thought, I heard. I felt as though I was reading his soul like a book.  
  
I don't know when Angel killed it. I just remember a burst of triumph followed by remorse and finally the pain and pictures left me.  
  
I opened my eyes, staring at the ceiling and breathing as if I hadn't in hours. My chest heaved and the tears were still on my cheeks. I felt Doyle next to me before I heard him. Then he was there, pulling me up gently.  
  
His face was bathed in sweat and his eyes were boodshot as if he'd been crying for hours. I collapsed against him, pulling him into a hug. He sniffed and I felt him shaking. He felt so fragile though his embrace was firm. I noticed some of his bandages were coming off and I lept back, remembering he was hurt.  
  
"Doyle-you..." I gasped.  
  
"What was that?" he choked out. "Cordy...I saw..."  
  
I sobbed softly. "I saw it too."  
  
"I think we both just had a vision." He tried to get up, but shaking he fell to the floor. A groan escaped his lips and he put a hand to his head.   
  
"I'm getting you to a hospital." I told him going to the phone.  
  
"Cordelia!" He shouted, startling me. I turned back.  
  
He looked as if he wanted to say something, but then winced.  
  
"Hurry."  
  
  
***  
  
  
The waiting room was so bright it hurt my eyes. There was still a ton of people there despite that fact that it was so late and amazingly no one had recognized me. I couldn't believe how many car accidents there had been in the past few hours. I waited as they took a look at Doyle. He had passed out, luckily, as soon as we had gotten in the door. Then we'd gotten service right away and lots of glares from the patient people who'd been there before us.  
  
I had left a note for Angel, knowing that he'd go straight to the office. My mind whirled with how fast these things had happened. My head ached and I wondered briefly if Angel had held up ok. I bit my lip when Doyle's doctor came out. He shook his head.  
  
"That man is..." He fiddled with his chart and shook his head. "He's a lunitic. He's not nearly strong enough to get up, let alone have any visitors...but he keeps asking for a Cordelia-?" He glared at me. "I'm assuming that person is you."  
  
" He's awake? Is he ok?" I asked earnestly, dying to get out of the room.   
  
"Ok?" the doctor gaped at me. "He nearly broke his arm and leg, pulled several muscles, could've died from the gashes in his stomach and back and almost fell into a coma from the head trama! He is just fine!" He gave me a disgusted look. "And awake unfortunately."  
  
I seethed at the doctor's sarcasm. "Look, if he wants to see me, I'm going!"  
  
"I can't let you do that-"  
  
"And yet you can't stop me." I shot back giving him what Willow called a 'resolve' face. I brushed passed him and walked into the room he had come out of. I didn't even care when I heard him request security come in. I locked the door behind me.  
  
I sucked in my breath when turned around and saw Doyle. His whole body was shaking. His leg and arm were wrapped up and his face was marred with a cut just above his eyebrow that I hadn't even noticed. I could almost see the stitches in his belly. He was pale and could barely keep up, though he was propped almost upright. He tried to give me a smile and leaned forward slightly.  
  
"I really did it this time huh?"   
  
I gently pushed him back down. "Don't try to sit up for me. Dr I'm-calling-security-cause-I'm-a-wuss-with-issues will have a coronary. Plus you cut yourself up pretty bad." I winced for some reason unable to take my hand away from his shoulder.  
Doyle looked in my eyes. I'd never seen his eyes so glassy with pain. He looked so helpless, like there was so much he wanted to say, but he couldn't say it.  
  
"Doyle, don't worry about this." I said softly, touching his face with a tenderness I didn't know I held for him. "This was an accident. You don't have eyes in the back of your head. And you need to stop compairing yourself to Angel! He is who he is. And you are who you are. Just stop focusing on all the bad things-"   
  
I stopped talking. Where was this coming from? I somehow knew his insecurities all of the sudden. It was like a wall had been broken down between us. I had seen in the haze of blinding pain something that I never had seen in anyone before.   
It wasn't bravery, or wit, or charm or any of the things Doyle already didn't know he had. It was...something else. Something I knew I'd never seen before in a person. I knew Doyle better than I knew anyone in one brief vision. Doyle was staring now, his eyes filled with pain and confusion. He set a trembling hand on mine.  
  
"He hit you." Doyle croaked. "I saw it. I saw your whole day. It was like nothing that's ever happened."  
  
I nodded, leaning forward. "I...saw you too. I saw your day, but it was more then that."  
  
"You know me now." He stated simply.   
  
Slowly, I drew my hand away. I felt suddenly like I was trapped. I hated opening up to people, telling them the truth and admiting my insecurites. I wanted to never tell Doyle what had happened that day. Now he had seen everything I had seen in him. It was frightening, like someone had read my diary. He had read my soul. It felt like I was linked to him, but I kept up that useless wall. That stupid wall that never let me break...  
  
I gently lay my head on Doyle's chest (avoiding his stitches) and cried. His hand weakly stroked my hair and I choked on sobs, crying for the unfairness of everything that had happened. I felt like someone had ripped me open and now I was empty.   
  
"Doyle, what am going to do?" I asked, my voice so weak with tears it was barely audible. "That was all I ever wanted and now I can't stay."  
  
"You have to leave Cordy. Believe it or not you can be happy staying with Angel Investigations." I looked up and he gazed down at me, his eyes glassy. "I miss ya, during the day. And so does Angel, although Sir Broody would never admit it."  
  
Despite everything, I smiled.  
  
"Cordy, I saw what you're always thinking." His finger traced my forehead. "Saw what goes on in that head 'o yours. Angel and I are always going to be there. You have to know that. Just cause that Alex guy was a flaming idiot, it's no reason to think we'll leave you."  
  
I gulped. I had kept on thinking that there was no way Angel and Doyle (the best friends I'd had since Xander and his people) would ever stay with me. No one ever did. My mom and dad, all my old boyfriends, Harmony and Xander had all left me. I had gotten accustomed to being walked out on. I believed it was all that was ever going to happen in my life. For some reason, I had to believe something else when Doyle looked at me like he was at that moment.  
  
"Oh, before I forget, David needs to be shot." Doyle said seriously.  
  
I couldn't stop a giggle from escaping. I smiled at Doyle wondering how I had missed everything he had. He grinned at me and then coughed.   
  
"If you really want to help me out, you might want to get me some single malt scotch." He grumbled.  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah and then you can frighten the nurses with incoherent babble. You're here to get well, not to get drunk. Besides they have more advanced drugs for pain."  
  
"Yeah but I heard that they make you sleepy." he protested. "I want to be available in case any fine young things want to chat."  
  
I snorted. "If any fine young things want to chat with you..." I paused and then shook my head. "Nah. Too easy."  
  
Doyle laughed softly. "Go home Cordy. I need to sleep some of it off."  
  
"You sure?" I asked anxiously. "Don't we have more to talk about?"  
  
"Tomorrow." He mumbled, pressing the button to make his bed go back down. He cried out in pain suddenly, and I rushed to his side, easing him down.   
  
"I would normally kill you for suggesting I leave," I said casually, making sure I knew the equipment surrounding him was ok. "But I need some sleep so I can get up bright and early to quit."  
  
Doyle's half closed eyes filled with sympathy and something like pride. "I'm sorry princess."  
  
I sighed heavily. "Me too. Thanks for trying."  
  
"Anytime." Doyle's voice faded as he fell asleep.   
  
I watched him sleep for a moment. He had done so much for me. He constantly helped me out, humored me, saved me and reassured me. Now he had given me my dream, even if it only was for awhile. He let me have that taste. Now I knew that man sleeping on the bed. I knew him inside and out and he knew me. How could I think that being famous was more important then saving the people around me. How could I miss out on all the action?  
  
Doyle looked so peaceful now, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. I smiled at him. The fame I'd collected wasn't everything. I didn't really care anymore. I didn't deserve the way I was being treated. I also didn't need the abuse. And I'd get by on Angel's salary. If Tony wanted me, he'd have to fire David.   
  
I walked out to my car, slowly pondering how in one steady swoop I could suddenly not want what I'd always wanted.  
  
Now I wanted something else.   
  
  
  
FIN 


End file.
